Day 13
So these pictures were take at an abandoned house by Rubben Mabuku.
He's a strictly black and white photographer and he told me that he doesn't do photo shoots, he does concept shoots.
He
wanted to capture me as a poet and he prefers picking places still in
construction because of the varying textures but I had different ideas for the
location.
When
I got the pictures back, they did what he's out here to do - they
inspired me, gave me a concept to work with because yes, sometimes my
poetry is happy and is for the purpose of healing.
But sometimes we have to fall apart before we can start again.
Her
One of my favourite losses
Has been the fear to break out of the bounds of these boxes
Of the person I am expected to be.
I've been in a constant state of redefining who I am.
Ever since I discovered that labels are a complete scam.
I have never been like anybody else and I've always known it.
A trait I hated and constantly hid.
And I did my best to fit in.
But I was too much of that or too much of something else.
To deal with that I found solace on book shelves.
I have always been a woman with crooked and jagged edges.
In my childhood a tomboy with an aversion for dresses.
In adulthood, someone who has issues with this live to work an 8 to 5 then die routine.
It has led to me experiencing the strangest consequences.
Like isolation, only being able to truly express myself on blank pages.
With all the reading and writing do you know what I learnt, with all these books?
That I get to be whatever I choose.
Because people will label me however it suits them.
End up upset when I don't meet their expectations.
As if I am not forever evolving.
As if it's my job to make that fact comfortable.
As if it's not my right to rebel.
One of my favourite losses has been
Giving up the fight, accepting that I am constantly changing.
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